I press the keyboard with tears of joy, I am a happy man
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I grew up in a place
where manhood was a daily topic, I was taught this topic even before I knew I
was a boy, and as I grew up, the picture came more live and clear. Time came
when I had to make the decision to either jump on this bus of manhood or leave
it pass by. I didn’t live it to go, I might be in the back seat but I am it
being driven by Jesus to perfection and redemption.
My brother called me on Friday night and gave me news I have
been waiting for, for many years. He went on to tell me that namugerwa has been
found and was on the way to see him, to me this was strange for I knew no body
called by that name who was kidnapped. But he was patient with me and explained
to me that it was the missing sister. I knew and was praying to God about this
but didn’t know this was the right timing for me to hear this important news.
My parents divorced while I was in the womb, mom went on to care for us two
brothers and moved to luwero to her parents. From that time onwards, there was
no information about my dad, it is so sad that we even got to know he had
passed away one year after, I was still young, but even then. Not knowing
immediately and attending the burial of my one father left me with doubts and
rejection towards those who were concerned.
Dad and mom were so close and tight so it shocked dad to
come back home and find mom gone and the keys of the house with the neighbor, things
were crumbling by now for my dad, marriage was over, business failing and his
children taken away never to see the first born again and never to see and
welcome his unborn child (me). He got into a fruitful relationship with another
woman and had a daughter with her before he took his life, this girl would
later become the missing dear sister in the mind and life of her caring
brothers. I don’t know whether she had an idea that we even existed. But she
didn’t have to know, because we knew. And that is all it took.
I hadn’t have any information about her, all I knew was that
she was a girl (now a lady), and that kept me going, this was enough for me to
pray, think and fantasize of the day we would actually meet for the first day.
I didn’t even know her name, that’s why when Patrick told me namugerwa was
found, I didn’t know who in the world she was and how she affected my world. It
was my sister, yes my own. Words can’t explain how my heart leaped with joy and
how wide of a smile I got at hearing this news. I slept a happy man on Friday
night, it was like I was whole and complete, peaceful and calm. I was
frustrated with school and other stuff but at that moment, that all became
nothing, it was like immediate change from cold to warm. Yes I went from
Grambling to thankfulness. And who can do this if it is not God.
As men, we are called to protect others, especially those
girls and women that the world there seems to under look, this I learnt and I
can say tried as much as I could in the past and the present to not exploit and
make weak vessels feel unsafe around me. Through my perseverance to making this
my theme, my heart was not at peace. Why, my sister. I was here learning how to
be a good influence to the ladies around me, but who was teaching the boys who
were within the location of my sister to be real men? Who was protecting her
from being exploited? Who was walking besides her? Who was correcting her views
about life? Who was teaching her about Christ? And who was teaching her about
womanhood that sends a pleasing aroma to the throne of God? These questions
remain unanswered in my brain and may be they will never be answered but yet I
still find myself searching for answers.
I thank the lord for
surely placing me in a place where I got to learn these pillars concerning
life, yet for some reason my heart still unsettles because I did not get to
love, protect and know my sister at the age when I needed to. I know I should
not take the blame for this but there is still a part of me that desires to
revisit history and do it all over again, to change the whole story and giving
meaning to it, to practice it all on my sister and my own. But these things are
left to the lord and because they are sacred, I worship. This is not to say i
regret those relationships I got while my family was apart, no, I thank the
lord for them and can’t replace you for anything greater. Maybe God intended it
that you may see all my mistakes through that journey of growth and struggle
for perfection. That my sister at last could see perfect and clean. Sometimes I
pray my first born to be a boy, this is not because of gender superiority or
anything like that, but I want to have him first so that I can teach him how to
love and protect his sister that follow him, something I missed.
I called her yesterday night before I went to bed, I for sure
didn’t know what to expect from the other end of the phone. I had to cry at
hearing her voice, it was like a dream come true, and yes it was a dream come
true for both of us. For two decades we have been apart, doubting the existence
of the other, and right there on the phone. I heard the voice and said yes, she
is alive. Her polite and calm talk
convinced me she was so pretty and has a big heart. I don’t yet know her other
name because I was so happy to ask any question but from her voice and gentle
talk, I can guess that her second name is peace. Yes,
Hope to meet her very soon and know her part of story, and
yes I have a sister now, my very own. I am older which makes me her big
brother. Yes. I can now rest, I can now die, am one of the chosen. (But not
yet) I need to meet her first.
in christ alone
kiggundu wilson
