50 YEARS OF INDEPENDENCE?

Oh Uganda, may God uphold theeWe lay our future in thy hand.United, free,For libertyTogether we'll always stand.2.Oh Uganda! the land of freedom.Our love and labor we give,
And with neighbors allAt our country's callIn peace and friendship we'll live.3.Oh Uganda! the land that feeds usBy sun and fertile soil grown.For our own dear land,We'll always stand:The Pearl of Africa's Crown.



Uganda is stepping on to a new steep in her life and the children it mothers. i have spent some time thinking of Uganda in my own perspective not basing on what i see people talk about Uganda in the media or hear them talk about it on radio or on the streets as i pass by. i have realized that at the first hearing of word Uganda. its a shame that many of the native people think of all the negative side of the nation. many think of Uganda basing on its great shape and boundaries, all they associate Uganda with is the rampant corruption we hear every now and then, this has become the news that people want to hear, those who the lord has privileged to have vehicles associate Uganda to the bad roads, pot wholes and ditches in the middle of high ways, the poor associate it to poverty, those with sick beloved ones think of Uganda as a nation with poor medical facilities, pupils are also complaining about the poor education facilities they are getting, business men don't stop grumbling about the poor market. every one in this nation is complaining about the short comings of the nation Uganda. we Ugandans don't realize that we are the nation, we are looking at other people for the rebuilding of the wall of Uganda, and even when they do, we are the same ones that are responsible for their destruction. we are celebrating the 50 years of Independence. 50 years when the nation Uganda was placed into our own hands, 50 years when we were given the permission to make our own decisions, 50 years when we got our independence.

 i wounder what it might have felt raising the national flag, it meant independence. yes, independence, but independent from who and what? this is a question we should ask ourselves, in 1962 we were independent from the British hand because we kind of proved to be grown enough to manage our own politics and economies, now am happy that fellow Ugandans can sit and decided for the nation. it's unfortunate that as we were getting freedom from the British  we were preparing for slavery among fellows. the British was more than willing to give us our independence  yet we our selves we not willing to give ourselves the same independence the foreigners were offering us. as the British government packed to go back to Britain, soldiers were getting ready to fight and common people packing their belongings heading into the bush. we were fighting over the power, fighting the independence granted to us. it's a shame. we are independent  but were we really independent from each other? or are we are still having granges over each other? is north, south, east and west and central, independent? until there is genuine reconciliation in the hearts of the natives, we are not independent. we are rejoicing independence from the British but not from each other 
Despite the problems and struggles we have faced as a nation, we have a reason to stop and give thanks. despite of the corruption, bad roads, poor education, poor medical facilities, hatred among tribes, poor leadership and thankfulness we can say, the far the lord has brought Uganda. what good things does Uganda has that makes it a perfect home? 

• The beautiful raising and setting view of the sun.

• the perfect greenness that covers every where.

•  the bright moon and stars at night.

• the clear blue sky above my head.

• the different tribes from even region.

• the different languages all over the country.

• the fertile soils that feed me.

• the rains that water the land throughout the year.

• the many different fresh fruits.

• the river that starts here and powers in the ocean.

• the different cultures that have one thing in common, HOSPITALITY.

• the two seasons that sustain us.

• the peace between us and our neighbours.

• the free education provided by the government.

• the sense of peace we are enjoying right now.

• the gospel and the freedom to share it.

• the freedom of speech.

• the peaceful elections.

• the respect 

• the wild animals that occupy the forests.

• the relationship part of every culture.

• the natives love for God and their daily dependence of Him.

i have made this list without comparing my nation to other nations, i actually hate comparison, i view it as sin, its a sin boosted by bad pride. when you compare one thing to another, one is going to end up being high than the other, so you are actually trying to find which one is the best and  giving high valve it.
if i made a list comparing Uganda to other nations, then either Uganda would be on top or it would be on the bottom, making it either inferior or Superior. comparison raises on object up while its putting another down. i may not want any of these to be Uganda because it affects the way i view her. you will find that i have also concentrated on what Uganda has, not what i wish it had.
many Ugandans will not agree with me. but i thank God for the poverty he has allowed us to face for the last years, this poverty has built our trust in him and him only. many people have no other option rather than trusting God for there everything. this includes, food they eat for launch and supper. all they have to do is be in a relationship with that one who will provider to them. that's why i understand Him as God the provider. if we had all we needed in life we would have weak interest in trusting him but now we trust him with our everything, which everything is nothing. it's although not my prayer that we remain this poor for the next 50 years, we have tasted poverty and swallowed its pain for along good time. it's now time to taste the opposite of life.
 even in that wealthy you are leading us to we shall not forget you.
we shall still remember,
the days we went without food for the mouth.
the nights we slept with no shelter above us,
the seasons the soils did not yield as we expected,
the years we were fatherless,
the moments we were hated,
the days we were bare footed,
the nights we had no blanket,
the days we were cloth-less,
days when we walked instead of driving,
days when looked at planes as dreams and mysteries and not reality,
the days we were enemies with our neighbours,
and the days we were enemies with the lord.

Lord, as you are lifting us up, we won't forget where we where before you picked us up. we shall enjoy the heights of your glory with remembrance of the past.
When we reach the clouds, keep us humble. i pray............

HAPPY 50 YEARS OF INDEPENDENCE!!!

Desire, Passion and Dream

A lot can be said about the past, I have the power to decide what to do with what happened to me in the past, through all the hatred shown by relatives, the failures I have encountered just because I had selfish men around me. At a tender age, I was not given a chance to enjoy the benefits of childhood and all it had to offer me, there was no benefits to enjoy, it may look like I was denied them but you know, many children in Uganda don’t have what one may consider his rights, like many other Ugandans, I was forced to grow at a tender age, forced to be a man through difficult and trouble, through harsh words and abuse. When you ask me now if I would like to repeat that kind of life, no on no, I may not what to repeat any of the scenes of my childhood; I don’t care whether good or bad.  Dad died by suicide, his father died the same way, I live in constant fear of what the future has concerning what my leaving earth, I very much know that no matter how I leave this planet, my straight destination is heaven, for that am confident. But doubt comes when it comes to my stay in heaven. One my not understand this but looking back at my past, past has defined what heaven looks like, because of my not staying in a home for a long time, it has given me a fear of heaven being the same way, I know it will  great but someday it will be time for me to leave.

Like in many African countries, fathers in Uganda produce children with hopes of them growing up and helping their parents in the old age. Imagine growing up with parents, who hope that when you actually start working you will support them, one is not given a chance to live his dreams but actually lives his parents dreams up to the day they die, then live his dreams. Parents out here do not believe in building their children shades but believe in their children building shades for them, this is one of the many ideas in our culture that needs to change. At the time when dad died, relatives were ready to take all that he possessed without thinking of the three kids he left, selling all he had for their own benefits. We were too young to know anything about that. I do not rely on anything left by my father, because there is nothing left. I don’t plan living in walls he built but plan building my own walls, I don’t rest in shades planted by him for it was cut the moment he left earth. I don’t walk in paths paved by him but pave my own, I found not foot prints to follow but create my own. Living each day with fear and doubts of what lies ahead of me and wondering whether the foot prints I create and road I pave will last for my children to walk in them to, I pray that they may not have to create their own after mine have faded, this is because I have tasted what it means creating my own and making them last, I fear I don’t have what it takes. Living in humiliation, fear of what lays ahead, poverty, taken advantage of, getting the last priority, a deaf ear and a blind eye is everyday life for the fatherless. They are seen misfortune, a curse, disaster, problem and garbage even y their own people who should have love and nurtured them, this is not news to the fatherless but daily life. Hearts of fatherless children have come to hate love, not because they don’t desire it but because it was denied to them at the point when they needed it the most. And if presented, it was presented wrapped in a wrong package. This then causes them to protect their heart from further hurt of this kid, the heart builds a callas that normal love cannot penetrate, no wonder many fatherless are difficult to control.

95 percent of the world problems are caused by men, why? Because of the poor definition of manhood they have believed and therefore lived from childhood. I have come to believe that after Jay dangers talking about it and giving several examples. It’s time for men to rise up. My main concern is the young generation which has seen their fathers live selfish lives, living for the present without consideration of the future. It is us who have been hurt by the past that should rise. While others complain of their parents not buying them Christmas gifts, thousands are having to endure the pain of not mom not having food for Christmas launch. Many fathers don’t understand how crucial the role of parenting is in the lives of their children, fathers get up caught in making a living that they forget making a life in their children’s lives, while fathers are making a living, mothers are sacrificing their everything for the survival of their children, carrying a heavy weight which they were not meant to carry.  God gave men the power of influence in the family, and I believe that that many husbands and fathers are going to be guilty on the judgment day. Many men give a deaf ear to this kind of message yet their some men who regardless or the mistakes they made in the past and regardless of what their fathers did or didn't give will give the strength of their arms and the rest of their days to loving God, teach our children to do the same and possibly mentor others who have no fathers in their lives, but who desperately need help, direction and an arm of guidance in their lives. This is what I am dedicating to be,

Michael Jackson after living a threatening and abusive life with his fathers, he was right when he said, when a child lives this life knowing he is loved,

And leaves this life knowing he is loved,

Then what happens in-between will be is to deal with.

The identity of each growing child lies in having the confidence that he is loved, unfortunately, many of us grew up with nothing close to that so have struggled finding and seeking identity in that which is not. Seeking approval, looking for merits and pleasing people so that we may feel the empty space created by the absence of loving, caring, protecting and guiding fathers. If you have one who is close to this, its time you made use of him. many seek to have one who they talk to, one who will guide their paths, one they will trust, lean on and one who will look in their eyes and tell them, “ that’s not right”, unfortunately they find none, because the ones they are looking to for counsel are also in regrets. They are all looking for someone. You have someone.

My whole life is about breaking statistics, am not settling for less, am lot doing what the world tells me to do to be successful but doing that which the bible tells me to be in a relationship with Him, I never had a glace on my dad or torched him or him torching me, I live with a hope that when we meet on in heaven, he will look at me and for the first time hear his voice say, “am proud of you son” I wish we meet! I can look at the past with a reason that stops me from dreaming of a great future, the past does not give enough good reasons for me to stop dreaming, it rather offers perfect reasons for me to dream higher than heights, deeper than depths and wider than east and west. I have kind off tasted a better life than the one I lived a decade back and now I want to live the rest of the life this way. A life of hope, a life with a future, a life with dreams and more than anything, a life of love. The story is not a mistake but was part of his creation story, like Jenny Dangers blog tittle says, “HIS STORY, “MY WORDS”, this is not my story but his story active in my life, which I decide to express in my own words. Like in John 9:2-3,

² And his disciples asked him, saying, Master, who did sin, this man, or his parents, that he was born blind?

³ Jesus answered, neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents: but that the works of God should be made manifest in him.

I believe Jesus’ answer to his disciple answers the whys behind my story. If this story does not bring me near to Christ, then I would have lost it. I wish it didn't happen but at the same time the past does not determine my future, it only makes my story and gives me a testimony. God gave me this story, it’s his story. I believe that God’s story does not end in ashes, and mine is not. Am not going to let this story be a stumbling block but am using it as a stepping stone to reach the skies.

It might be hard for anyone reading this, hard is it for the one who is writing it? It is hard but the more times I've told the story, the more time I have become confident with it. The more the healing, I live to give my children that which I did not get at a tender age,

I live to planting shades for my children,

I live to make them trails,

I live to building them walls,

I live to leaving them marks,

I lie to leaving them foot prints.

Shades which they will trim,

Trails they will pave roads out of,

Walls they will turn into houses,

Marks of cornerstones and

Foot prints they will follow.

I want to live a life in a way that when it’s time to for me die, I don’t regret of what I didn't do, but dying is the only thing am left to do.

passion kampala

I was excited the day Matt and Jamie told me we were going to attend the passion Kampala,  i knew it was going to be great so i was prepared for the greatness it had to offer, Chris Tomlin and Louie Giglio i had not heard  them friends or media but had sung Chris Tomlin songs in church for years and for Louie  he was my best from the time i watched him in his presentation on the "indescribable" in his expressing how God can't be described by human words, this was years back but the message still stuck in me.  

This time it wasn't watching both of them on a screen but watching them live, for this i was excited. great music i had heard of started led by Tomlin, what made it great was that it was original and singing a song among ten thousand believers was awesome, it was a reminder of how it isn't only one church believing in God but these thousands of people coming from different churches combine to make one church. Because of believers every where, am not lost among a multitude of believers because we have one language, a language of Jesus and love, that is so for we all believe in one God. 

Louie shared a message from psalms 148, 

praise the Lord

praise the Lord from the heavens, 

praise his in the heights above

praise him, all his angels

praise him, all his heavenly hosts

praise him, sun and the moon

praise him, all shining stars; 

verse 7 

praise the lord from the earth

you great sea creatures and 

all ocean depths

when the lord says stars, he means it, velopore  is a star that died and exploded, it spines 11 times a second on its axis. it constantly makes noise 24,7 all the time, which noise is the worship of God. 

The stars in the heavens can't stop worshiping God to worshiping an idol down on earth, they were created to worship only him and him alone. This makes me think why every now and then catch myself moving from worshiping God am meant to worshiping to worshiping people, technology, wealth and image, 

why can't i be like the stars who can't stop worshiping God? that's what i what but Romans 7:14-25 is true in my life.

i want to be one of the stars that can't stop worshiping him, when worship becomes my everyday thing subject, when i wake up worshiping him and sleep still in the same mood. i desire that my voice and actions be part of the symphony and lyrics of worshiping God. Louie demonstrated this by producing sounds of the stars from the heavens, sounds of whales from the seas, he combined these sounds to produces a symphony of the song,"how great is our God" the sound was perfect, the heavens, seas made music for God that the we the people on the earth just completed it by singing the song, that was amazing. it was neat. we indeed worshiped together with the stars ant the whales.

Deep in every one of the people on planet earth is a desire to become famous and popular, i will not talk about other people's today but will concentrate on myself. i didn't realize the full extent of this until i was on the ground watching Louie and Tomlin on stage. i know i went there to hear what the lord had to teach me through Passion Kampala tour. i had gone to rise one step high in my spiritual walk with the lord. but why i went there is because these were great people who were famous and popular all around the world, that's why they are able to make it a passion world tour. i believe that if these guys were just ordinary people only known by friends and relatives, its only the relatives and friends who would have attended passion Kampala.

The reason why Makerere ground was filled with approximately 10,000 people was because they had come to see these great guys of  God. I imagined being on a stage all gathered to hear me speak like Louie, wow. my mind drove me to thinking of what he had to do to be that popular and famous, in all of my thoughts and imaginations, i imagined Louie knowing me and among the 10,000 people calling me and standing where i would be seen by all those people. i don't know whether anybody on that ground thought as me or i just think to much. it wasn't Satan in control of my thoughts but God. even when my thoughts were focusing on myself, He used that to show me something greater than planet earth. 

I experienced God when Louie left the stage and Tomlin occupying it, among all his songs, this time he sung, 

"I WILL RISE" here is the lyrics.

And I will rise when He calls my name 
No more sorrow, no more pain 
I will rise on eagles' wings 
Before my God fall on my knees 
And rise 
I will rise 

There's a day that's drawing near 
When this darkness breaks to light 
And the shadows disappear 
And my faith shall be my eyes 

Jesus has overcome 
And the grave is overwhelmed 
The victory is won 
He is risen from the dead 

[Chorus:] 
And I will rise when He calls my name 
No more sorrow, no more pain 
I will rise on eagles' wings 
Before my God fall on my knees 
And rise 
I will rise 

And I hear the voice of many angels sing, 
"Worthy is the Lamb" 
And I hear the cry of every longing heart, 
"Worthy is the Lamb" 
[x2]

[Chorus:] 
And I will rise when He calls my name 
No more sorrow, no more pain 
I will rise on eagles' wings 
Before my God fall on my knees 
And rise 
I will rise.

 I lost it the moment i heard," and i will rise when He calls my name". wow, the holy spirit drove me to telling me that, someday, you will rise when He will call your name, in the presence of many angels, in the presence of those who would have gone to heaven, what made me even made me cry? it was too much not to, i will surely rise when he calls my name, wow, this was everlasting hope, it was also a reminder," Stop dreaming of earth, dream of heaven, Don't settle for less, there is heaven, it was a reminder that my aim should be heaven. Stop, its not about you, but for God, 

on this earth, it shouldn't be me in front of 10,000 people, but God at the center, and all around the ground.

Passion Kampala was in other words Kiggundu's passion for God, another passion for life, a passion for God, passion for worshiping Him and him alone. Christianity is not knowing about God, but being in relationship with Him. maturity in Christianity is not memorizing verses and doing great sermons but Hebrews 5:14, who is a christian who is mature? the one who by constant us of scripture have trained himself to distinguish good from evil. truth from lies, light from darkness. the moment i learn this, am mature. 

 .

IS MY HEART BEAUTIFUL?

We had just finished church on a Sunday afternoon when a married man complained of his wife spending along time making herself clean and beautiful which was the cause of their missing the great praise and worship at this church, he went on explaining to his buddies how many Christian women have fallen short of 1 peter 3:3, “if only our wives understood what this verse meant, we husbands would have no problems at home”, was the married man’s actual words.

I kept thinking of the words that this married man mentioned to his buddies, I can’t argue with him even as am writing this because he has way more experience to being around women than I have, but am sorry not count his experience in my writing and thinking. Am not saying he is wrong but his words drove my mind to taking a closer look to the verse he was basing his conversation. I had already made a study on 1 peter 3:3 not basing it on ladies but looking at how it actually relates to us the men.

1 peter 3:3-4

³Who’s adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;

⁴ But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.

Peter writes this in a century where every woman is expected to virgin on the wedding day, a century where men are looking not for the physical but that which is not seen but hidden inside. Because this was the men of the first century, Peter addresses the ladies to be that which the godly men are looking for. I believe that 1 peter 3 having been directly written to women does not mean that we the men have nothing to pick from it, this verse directly applies to us just that in some times men have used it to criticize them of their short comings. Yet in the same way this verse shows how our expectations and motives have fallen when looking at ladies.

Revelation 19:7-9

⁷ Let us be glad and rejoice, and give honor to him: for the marriage of the Lamb is come, and his wife hath made herself ready.

⁸ And to her was granted that she should be arrayed in fine linen, clean and white: for the fine linen is the righteousness of saints.

⁹ And he saith unto me, Write, Blessed [are] they which are called unto the marriage supper of the Lamb. And he saith unto me, These are the true sayings of God.

We all wait for a time when we shall be taken up in glory to heaven, and when we reach there revelation says, let us be glad and rejoice, and give honour to him, for the marriage of the lamb is come, and his wife has made herself ready. It makes me happy to have the promise that when it says the wife, it means the church. We will by then have made ourselves ready. (Verse 7)

As the body of Christ, we are on a journey to heaven, where we shall be married to Christ. If we live with this hope what should our walk be like in this life? Shouldn’t this change how we prepare ourselves? 29^th of this month is a day when two of the sons and daughters of new hope Uganda are getting married, this is exciting news to many people, to the person who will appear at the wedding and be pleased at how beautiful they look and the decoration, people might not actually realize the great work that was involved in the wedding’s taking place. The shopping, endless meetings, the finance, decorating, the stress that comes out of it all, It actually takes a lot of preparation, prayer and trusting in God for that day to happen when the two become one . If it takes this lot of preparation for an imperfect man to marry an imperfect woman, how much preparation should we go through to marry perfect Jesus? The good news is that by then, we shall also be perfect like our bride groom.

I have been to some what many wedding ceremonies, while other people like the end part of the ceremony; I have come to like the very start of it for different reasons. My best part is when the bridegroom is already in the church waiting for his bride to appear, and when she does, hand claps and noise of applause is not an option, everybody stands up to welcome her because they are all there to witness her becoming one with the bride groom. As she walks on the aisle, all yes on her. While every one’s eyes are looking at the bride, I tend to fix my eyes to the opposite direction, the bride groom has nothing to distract him from enjoying the beauty of his bride, and he gazes at her with bright eyes and a smiling face. To him nothing at this point is more important than her and no beauty surpasses the one that is coming towards him. This is best understood by the look on his face. He can’t with stand the beauty that is about to approach him. All that the man is looking at is the gown his lady is putting on, the jewelry, the makeup, and the nice shoes. The bride brooms eyes are only looking at the outside, the physical. How does this relate to our marriage in heaven? We know that we shall one day be joined to Jesus in glory. I for now can only imagine, how happy will Jesus be on my walking on the aisle with him on the other side? There will be a great should by the angles when I appear walking down the aisle to go meet my bride groom. At that point he will be gazing at my beauty with his eyes, he will look at me but will not be interested on my physical appearance, and his eyes will zoom right in the heart. The smile he will have on our heavenly wedding day will be how beautiful my heart will be, not the wonderful makeup, not the fine linen or the smile I will poses on that day. His concentration will be how beautiful my heart will be, not how beautiful my face and outside will be.

One of the wise man said death was like his car because it takes him where he wants to go, this is a man who does not mind of the world, he is confident and clearly knows his destiny and lives in preparation for heaven. I know that one day Jesus is going to be waiting for me on the other side of the aisle to be married to him and that heaven waits for the day when the church shall be joined to its true bride groom. Know of this, I confidently read 1 peter 3:3 in relation to my own life, this puts me to thinking of how much attention I give to my physical and the less time I dedicated to building a beautiful heart for Jesus on that day. When I prepare for the wedding is not when I reach there but now, you don’t start preparing on the day of the wedding, this preparation starts on the day you are proposed to. Jesus proposed me in john 3:16, he use the most romantic words ever and because his ways are higher than our ways, instead of kneeling on one leg, he died, on the cross to confirm how much love he was willing to offer me. When he proposed me, he did not expect me the answer there and then like men do, he gave waited for me to first consider the cost. Luke 9:26. After I said yes he gave me the time to prepare myself and make myself beautiful because I was filthy, Romans 3:23. He did not tell me the day of the wedding, Mathew 24:42, so I live each day so wise waiting for the day of his coming. He is not marrying me and after renting a house, no he is first building a house for me before he comes for me, john 14:2. We will not leave after the honey moon; we will stay in the same house built not of bricks or cement, but of gold, Revelation 21:18. The man who will marry me will give me total peace, he will be faithful, Revelation 21:4. From then we shall be happy thereafter.

 This is a kind of husband we should expect to marry, this challenges me not to view my singleness as preparation for the day I will marry an earthly wife, but to use my singleness to prepare my life and making my heart beautiful for the day I will walk down the aisle with him waiting for me. Being a man, my understanding is limited; I don’t fully grasp the concept of being a bride. I can only picture myself waiting for the bride as she walks towards me. Although I haven’t waited for one, I know how happy I will be to see her walk towards me, for this reason, I have a little tiny understanding of how happy Jesus will be after looking at how beautiful my heart will be. To some of the girls who have told me they wish they we boys, my only message has been that, you are on the advantaged side of the wedding with Christ, because you know how it feels like to have Jesus waiting for you on the opposite side of the aisle. I don’t. if we all will be wedded to Christ in heaven, knowing that he won’t base our beauty on the outside appearance, what should we do to see that we put our concentration on that which will be pleasing to him, 1 peter 3:4. It is the state of our hearts that is going to win Jesus’ heart. For the ladies, it’s not the long gown, not the earrings, not the bracelets, not the hair, not the smile. To the men, it’s not the black suit, not the wonderful tie, not the pointed shoes, not our combed hair and not how much we have built our bodies.to all of us, it will be that which no human eyes can see, it will be our hearts. What will influence how big Jesus will smile is how beautiful our hearts will be, we are all brides of Christ so should work at preparing for the heavenly wedding. If our hearts are focused on heavenly marriage then earthly marriage will not be a hindrance. 1 peter 3 is a calling to every man and woman who is heavenly minded. David is an example to us the men, 1 Samuel 16:7.  is my heart beautiful for Jesus?, is your?

DO I REGRET?

.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       November 11- 1989

Mom stopped working a week before I was borne; mom was taken on a bicycle to deliver me. On the 11^th of November 1989 a young hero was borne, a new stainless steel brand original baby boy. This time not made in China, on this day I entered the world’s trouble, and it was time to share the pain that the world had to offer. When I reflect 22 years  back, this was definitely the genesis of trouble, pains, heat breaks and hopelessness in my life but was over all the genesis of God’s favor in my life, all that life would bring me in days, weeks, months, and years to come were opportunities for me to see God in a better angle he is, I was not to see this right away but He divinely preserved this for later in life, moments like now when I look back at each one of the and marvel at how it was his hand the saw me through.
It was somehow difficult for mom to stay at her grandfather’s house with two grandsons without a reasonable source of income, it was impossible for a young lady trained to work just to stay at home. In the course of finding work , she came across a young man who promised her heaven on earth, this was an opportunity for Patrick and little me to grow up in a real family with mom and a father figure to compensate the relationship of our biological father.it  also relieve mom from having to provide everything in the home. All the above was secondary, this is the main point. Mom was still young and beautiful, she couldn’t afford seating on her beauty yet there was a nice man promising to appreciate it. She survived living in the nights cold alone, but by the time I turned three she could not hold it any more. With few or no arrangements we were in another home. I was just three but really remember we how different my third home was from the second one. I still have clear memories of what was going on it’s now that my mind truly justifies it. It is this home that it all began, this is my story.
Wabitunda was my next home replacing Bweyewo not far away from each other; our new home was the third last in community, a rectangular small house with mad walls made by erecting poles in a desired shape. Rids are tired across the poles , then well prepared soil mixed with water is forced between the poles which takes like five days to dry. The roof is made up of dried spear grass which is paced on top and tired firmly to avoid sliding during stormy nights. The house a living room and a bed room, please don’t picture the living room and compare it to yours, it was a place where we would eat supper while sitting down on the floor so this eliminated the pressure of having a dining table.  It was a living room in the day and a bed room in the night for us the kids. Life was good here, so far mom had chosen the best husband for life and a good father for us kids, he had all that a young lady desired in a young man. We were the only children in the home so for those first days we got some love that a muganda man can give his step kids. Christmas was full of fun caused by the variety of food in front of us, Coca-Cola filled the evening of Christmas day, it was the day many of the Ugandan kids anticipate, it’s the day to eat the food you have missed for a year. We lived in a community where we were isolated from most of fun, we were in the middle of old couples that hadn’t any little kids around so Patrick and I had to figure out what games we played that only involved two people, it was only this little girl who was in the same situation we were in that except from her home just to give us company. Mom was afraid how we would behave in the middle of a thousand kids?
When mom promised him a child I saw his attitude, love and behavior drift from us kids to nowhere,  he started complaining how bored and lonely home was for him on days he didn’t work, well, I would watch him go but up to now I don’t know what work he was doing by then. I watched him leaving very early just to avoid seeing us in the morning, he would also come back late for just the same reason. He knew mom promised him a child so found no interest in us baggers and fatherless.  At the time Ruth was her first borne was delivered, Patrick and I then had a clear view of the matter, we definitely knew he hated us and didn’t like us home. I use the word home not in a serious and loving way, it was a home for his newly born baby mom and the step dad but not Patrick and I. the right word to use would be house because when it reached night it held us all. We had no option. As we study in school, a family consists of mom dad and children this wasn’t us, no family can be family without relationship. What many people consecrate on is the presence of a female and male figure, they don’t go ahead to ask and find out the relationship aspect of the so called family. He loved mom because she took care of his children, as you may know, children Buganda culture belong to the man, all that the mother does is takes care of them but derive no identity from the mom, good children belong to the father while bad, knotty, lazy and stupid ones are attributed to the mother. On the fourth child he stared having misunderstandings with mom. Am not trying to say they didn’t have misunderstanding before but this time ending up in almost a fight, as a man in the home he would try to correct us but it was always through spanks, mom could not watch him beat us that bad and keep silent, this was the beginning of a fight. We were not his kids, this we knew and he knew so hurting us physically or emotionally wasn’t a big deal for him. Mom knew we were her kids so defended us.
Misunderstandings never ended with them alone of course we were the trouble; there was one night out of the many that the three of us were chased of the house at night. We ended up going to the ashy kitchen for that night; mom could not sleep until we were snoring. Throughout the day he would not be there so that gave us time to really have fun and enjoy our childhood, we although became stubborn for mom that she some time told him to discipline us, that was of course tough, mom ended up being sorry for us but it was too late. 
i don'y regret it.

Well, it’s true that I have been hurt in my life. Quite a bit, But it’s also true that I have loved, and been loved and that carries a weight of its own, I’ll look back on my own life and see that the greatest piece of it is love. The problems of sadness, isolation those will somewhat be there, but just smaller silver, tiny pieces.  Sarah Dessen – This Lullby 

I don't spend too much time thinking of the bad things that happened in the past, i don't want the past to take most of my today. when i decided to look think of it, i force my brain to think of the good that happened and how the bad has turned into good.
I don’t regret it all because living with regrets is like driving a car that only moves in reverse.

VACATION

It has been two and a half months when I set my feet on the land of Gulu, indeed when i reflect back at the time I was seated in that bus, wheels revolving towards the unknown land, there was hidden panic, fear and doubts. The fears of when I would meet the relationships I had made in the last two decades of my life were erased when I was sitting in a different bus moving directly the opposite direction back home.

  with mom 

My mom has always been there for me and ever since I was a child I don’t actually remember missing her as much as I missed her this time, because I missed her so much, I did not want to go say hello then leave the next hour, I determined to spend as much time with her as possible. I made sure I reach her home first before visiting anybody else. It was indeed a fruitful moment for both of us and had a chance to meet my step siblings who I would have not met if their father (my step father) was present, I wanted and prayed that my vacation would be full of joy and happiness so I knew that going to their home and facing my step father was not a way of fulfilling this prayer. Well, on the 21st I arrived and on the following day I went with her to the garden, doing everything I can to bless her in the two days I had scheduled to be there. This time with her made me thank the lord for his work and faithfulness in her life and her commitment to the lord despite the disappointments and brute experiences she has faced with ungodly husbands.

At new hope uganda- home 

On the afternoon of the 16th  after working with her in the gardens I had to say bye proceeding to my second home, New hope Uganda. It’s a home where you are welcomed from the gate, so I faced the warmth of the welcome right from the gate. I can’t express my reaction at seeing people I treasured so dearly in my life. rather than say I was very happy and for these few days God had allowed us to be together I was determined to make it a moment worth treasuring hence remembering, I missed everybody so much that knowing I was at a place where I could access them by a few steps of moving my legs, I moved almost to everyone in that single evening of the 16th. Who wouldn’t be tired after that moving to and from the whole place? I intentionally gave a weak communication of my going back so to those I had not told, I was a total surprise. My stay at New hope was a moment filled with laughter, joy, happiness and excitement. I visited many different homes telling them of what Gulu is like and my personal experience, the seeing of the people was wonderful. Why I asked for my vacation to be scheduled at this time of the month is because I wanted to be a part of the team from new hope going to kapchorwa, meeting people is great and I like it but I didn’t want it to be all that I do in all of the two weeks. For this part of the trip I dedicated myself to following what the leaders had planned to do, I was not in the leadership position so spent more time talking to people while the leaders organized most of what was needed.For many of my buddies, the lord has called us to pursue different goals in life but all for his glory, the discussions to what we are doing was very little, what could I advise I person in school doing biology, physics and chemistry. But in all that the lord has called us to do and pursue in the different part of Uganda, there is something common to us all. We all agreed that the Lord never sends you where he will not keep you, that even in the storms, His love never fails , never gives up, never runs up on us, his anointed ones, and that we shall see the lord in the land of the living. We have grown as a class for the last few years but now I consider our growth beyond that level, I may be wrong in this, but in my life family is not blood connection and DNA, this is very paramount, for those who object. how many people share the same DNA but are great enemies? Some people like me would be carrying hatred and bitterness from my childhood because of family if the lord had not replaced those memories with love from staggers who I now call family. It’s from this basis that I say that family is a relationship, that’s why I have the freedom to address Perez as my brother, Lillian as my sister and many others as my siblings; this kind of relationship is got from Christ and in him alone because outside him, it’s confusing and my need to go to a pharmacist after reading this. 

 The view of Mountain Moroto from where we were

Kapchoarwa mission 

I was not planning to go back to new hope after the outreach so the 20th was a hugs and byes day for those who were not part of the kapchoarwa team. When the church gave me time to say hello to them, it was time to say hello and bye at the same time. 4am of the 21st of August 29, 2012 we set out for the journey towards our destination, kapchoarwa. We went in groups of 14, 14, 7 and 3 all with different vans depending on capacities it could hold. Because of this we had to delay a bit, the police wanting breakfast and waiting for others just to make sure none of the group was getting lost. We also had to switch vans because the ones we went with did not want to go all the way, so in kampala we boarded different vans that knew the place better and was used to driving on mountains. It was a normal drive until we reached the district of our destination. It was time to climb mountains, the road on the mountains was perfect because vehicles move very slow on them, it was scaring at first for the vehicle was pointed up as if we were in a plane taking off in the air, if I don’t ever get the plane experience, I know I’ve had it on the mountains of kapchoarwa, the more we moved up, the more sceneries we saw and the more beautiful it appeared, falls on most of the hills. We stopped at sipi falls to enjoy the view.Launch was being prepared when we arrive at 4pm, when it was ready, it was time to wash hands, this was the time to experience what we would face with the next week, the water was freezing cold, because we were on top of the hills, it would get cold so much that drinking water was debatable, I only took it in form of tea, a bath was optional to everybody, the fog would cover the whole place as though we were in the middle of the clouds, one could not see the person five meters away from him. We had to push one of our trucks because it had got stuck it the mad after it rained this provided me with a good opportunity to take a bath . We had to wake up every day at 5am in the cold to seek the lord for the day ahead of us, and then we would take breakfast heading out to do some community work in the gardens of the weak and the old. I loved it when I met people who spoke Luganda my native language, digging was one of the ways we shared the gospel in actions before we went door to door preaching, in this, Eyo leaders would assign us with people to preach with so that there is company and support, to all the homes I visited, they all professed to be believers In the lord, this, I loved, it swept away all the unnecessary arguments, confusion and criticisms among us. I went on straight asking them a few questions about the God they believe in just to make sure they were on the same road with me. For most of them I would take that chance to speak to them and encourage them basing of the bible, telling them that Christianity is not the work we do but the relationship we maintain with the lord, challenging them on repentance and forgiveness and for the washing away of our sins. There is one family I visited and when I asked if they sinned or not, the lady was convinced that she had no sin in her life. The lord had prepared me before hand for he had led me to concentrating and studying sin before the mission. She had a bible so we read scriptures on sin, romans 3:23, 1 john 1: 7 – 9 which promises that he will forgive us when we repent. As I kept on talking, I saw their hearts soften for the wordWe ate launch at 1:30 thereafter getting ready for an open crusade, it was a lot of turn up we got from the people, this was not our preaching but the work of the Holy Spirit, when we showed the movie the passion of Christ, all the three translators ended up in tears seeing the persecution Jesus was going through. After it all we went back to the camp, ate supper, evaluated the day then slept waiting for the next day, our second last day was giving cloths to families we had developed relationship with, it is on this day that I came across a welcoming family, Priscilla is their little girl who is in p.7 but more wise than the grade she is in, they invited me the next morning for breakfast, the request was said in a humble and happy mood that I had to answer yes. They sent me back with fresh maize as a gift of their first fruits. I saw the whole family later in the day giving them my picture and words of blessing at the back. We parked our entire luggage after the football match between us and the natives of the land, we left the land with a blessing of singing to them all the sons we could remember from childhood including the Uganda national anthem, as soon as we entered the car to leave, the rain started, we thank God it didn't rain before we moved, I had to board a bus back to see Cole and the rest of my family in Gulu, I enjoyed the whole vacation and can’t trade it with any other thing. 

These are memories of friends to love, treasure and pray for

My heart at lastt

Christianity is not the work we do but a relationship we maintain, the surrounding we influence and qualities produced by that relationship. As I sit down evaluating the whole vacation, am wondering how this statement has been fulfilled in these last two weeks and will continue to be, I don’t consider what I did for the people of kapchoarwa but mostly value the relationships I built and how my having Christ influenced them, those I have led to Christ and how they have showed me the love of Christ through their hospitality, I will live to remember that land and how my relationship with Christ was developed through allowing me warm me in the intensive. coldness........ one of my great friend text me saying,,,,,,,,,,, kigasite yesu, welcome back, lets live to remember the great time we had in kapchesombe, miss you and pray for you.all i responded was yes indeed, the lord was faithful, miss you and pray for you.